Oneliner joke/game hint contest

[Mike]

Since the percentage on the loading screen is boring af, but the old "short stories" didn't exactly work well (because half the story got skipped over too fast and they got boring after a while anyway), I would like to get a whole list (dozens or even hundreds) of small one-liners that either give you a useful in-game tip or present the player with a small joke (related to RS/RSPS/PkHonor/hamster would be best, but doesn't necessarily have to be). We could display a random and individual hint/joke at each loading screen stage (not related to whatever line came before or after).
I'll see about making the loading screen go smoother and making sure each line is displayed for at least 3 - 5 seconds so people have time to read it.

Anyone can put in an 'application' by making a post in the following format:

Code: Select all

In-game username:
Oneliners:

We'll select the ones we think are best and hand out 5000, 4000, 3000, 2000 and 1000 credits to the 5 people from whom we're using the most oneliners. You're allowed to take them from other sources, but originality is always a plus! We're certainly aiming towards having (much?) more game hints than jokes.

Good luck!

[Subnet]

In-game username: Not Safe Run
Oneliners: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.
get it because Wednesday Thursday Friday? =--p

What do you call a hamster with a top hat? Abrahamster Lincoln

Where does a hamster go for Spring Break? Hamsterdam!

[Joby]

In-game username: Joby
Oneliners: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

Why did the noob cross the road? Because he couldn't teleport.

How many Pkhonor players does it take to change a lightbulb? 50. 1 to change the lightbulb, and 49 to complain about how much better it was before.

[Ali]

Ingame Username: Weaponz
Oneliner: Vcummedinwho? Your nan.

[Elite spirit]

In-game username: Elite Spirit

Oneliners: I saw someone killing red spiders a few years ago and reported him for bug abuse.

Your momma so fat A D-hally spec hits her three times ( )

Your mom is like Al Kharid, she only charges 10gp to enter her.

What do you call someone with 99 fishing? A Master Baiter

How do you know you've been playing PkHonor too much? When someone dies IRL and you ask what they dropped.

[Kalista]

In-game username:Himans45
Oneliners:

Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll.....or you're taking shit from some asshole.

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day.

Last night I had a dream that I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Rick Astley will let you borrow all of his Disney movies except one. He's never gonna give you Up.

[Vik]

In-game username: F3arme
Oneliners: A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

Assassins do it from behind.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

This loading screen is an EXP waste!

Remember, when your friend gets a PVM drop say share I tbed!

Don't forget to do ::pure!

[B0rnt0b3pk]

In-game username: B0rnt0b3pk
Oneliners: By all means, if you get a good wife you'll have a good life. If you get a bad one, you'll become a gamer.

B0rnt0b3pk - The next slayer master

[Kylo ren]

ING: Ratonhaketon
Oneliners:

Fear is the path to the Dark Side.

Everything is cooler when you add lightsabers.

Join the Dark Side. We have cookies.

May the Force be with you.

You don't know the power of the dark side.

You were the chosen one!

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

You have failed me for the last time.

Don't underestimate the Force.

The Emperor has been expecting you.

[Boneman]

niceee