Oneliner joke/game hint contest

[Smallest mc]

User smallest mc don't beg go kill some shit

[Pearlescent]

In-game username: Pearlescent

The wording on a lot of these could be changed to fit the character limit :]

Helpful tips:
1. Use ::shops to buy the gear to get started!
2. Clue scrolls are a great source of income!
3. ::mypks displays your current PKhonor points
4. Remember to vote every day for great rewards!
5. Selling Clue scroll caskets can be a great source of income
6. Woodcutting is an excellent way to gain PKhonor points!
7. Completing achievements grants access to more bosses!
8. The Ex-ex-parrot increases drop rates from monsters
9. You can access the grand exchange through any bank booth
10. ::staff shows a list of current staff members & helpers online
11. The whip of fortune increases your chance of finding clue scrolls
12. The whip of souls is ideal for extending your PvM trips
13. The whip of chaos can drastically improve your DPS
14. Complete the last journey quest to begin hunting Nex!
15. get information about the newest updates the official forums!
16. Mithril dragons are a good way to start making money
17. Boss pets are available as rare drops from their counterpart
18. Donator and Premium status greatly increase voting rewards!
19. Honor players are not staff and cannot trade
20. the construction skill gives access to brawling gloves in all skills
21. use the guides section for information on most activities in the game!
22. Remember to set a bank pin to secure your items
23. Double check the trade window to avoid being scammed
24. Clans are a good way to find other players to do activities with
25. Use an ancient ceremonial set to skip Zaros kill count
26. Purchase ancient curses from the alter south of Edgeville bank
27. Bounty hunter has great rewards including imbued rings!
28. You can use the morph world height if the monster you want is taken
29. Having trouble with jad? you can buy a fire cape through donator credits!
30. You can exchange your voting points for donator credits!
31. Clue scrolls have a higher chance to drop from monsters in the wilderness
32. Dagannoth kings are a great way to find elite clue scrolls
33. third-age armour can be bought on premium island
34. The perfect ring has a 10% chance to double the pkhonor points you earn
35. use ::events to see any current or upcoming events
36. You can exchange 1100m coins for a 1bill ticket at the junk trader
37. the ::private command can be used to talk to specific players
38. A full list of items, NPC's and drops can be found through the Pkhonor wiki
39. the coordinates for clue scrolls can be found in the guides section
40. Dragon implings have a rare chance at giving dragon claws
41. You can buy trade rights from the PKHonor shop salesman to trade void, chaotics and nex armour
42. Talk to the wise old man in edgeville to start your achievements
43. the smoke, ice, blood and shadow diamonds can be combined into the perfect ring
44. Brawling gloves can be obtained for each skill at 99 construction
45. Monsters can be placed in player owned houses to speed up slayer
46. A cannon can significantly speed up your kills per hour
47. Don't forget your teleports when going to bosses!
48. Barrows gloves can be purchased at ::shops
49. The ::pure command can be used to set 3 combat skills to 99
50. Donator and premium status can be bought with in-game wealth
51. Dying with some untradable items or void gives you some of the points back
52. the ::pc command can be used to view your pest control points
53. the ::lsp command shows your current lootshare points
54. glacors take on the attribute of the last glacyte killed
55. honor players being nearby increases drop rates
56. clan members increase drop rates in lootshare
57. ::checkvotes (name) can be used to check vote points
58. Take a screenshot with ::ss
59. You can use ::report to inform staff of misconduct
60. Type ::party to join drop parties



Other (RS related):
1. When in doubt, tab it out!
2. (Loading Joke.exe) loading slipped and failed
3. Loading is fatigued, use a sleeping bag to continue
4. "Meow!" Oh god not this cat agai...AHHHHH!
5. "Drop party!" Loading has paused to attend, please wait...
6. "Sandwiches?" Loading has been hit with a baguette.
7. I used to be a PKer like you, then I took a rune arrow to the knee.
8. They said I'd never get a girlfriend, But I found one for 1M/hr
9. You're so edgy you should move into Edgeville

Other (Non-RS related)
1. Old dreams never die they just get filed away.
2. You will become great if you believe in yourself.
3. All progress occurs because people dare to be different.
4. Great thoughts come from the heart.
5. True wisdom is found in happiness.
6. The cooler you think you are the dumber you look
7. Old friends make best friends.
8. Live each day well and wisely
9. Use your head, but live in your heart.
10. Good things come to those who wait.
11. Never regret anything that made you smile.
12. Fortune favors the brave.
13. The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
14. The best is yet to come.
15. Failure is not defeat until you stop trying.
16. May you have great luck.

[Pls senpai]

ya boi did an easy google

I saw someone killing red spiders a few years ago and reported him for bug abuse.

Your momma's so fat she's got enough chins for 99 range

Ur mum is like the Al Kharid g8, only 10 gp to enter

Say that to my main.

Eyy gurl, are u 99 Farming because ur making me grow.

Whats ya prayer lvl cuz i wanna burry a bone in yo ass

Yo momma is like a smithing anvil, its only good for pounding.

Yo momma is like a bank booth; everybody uses the 'use-quickly' option

Yo momma's like the General Store, open 24/7.

Yo' momma's like a tinderbox, used on my wood.

[Andres]

Your momma's so fat she's got enough chins for 99 range

Ur mum is like the Al Kharid g8, only 10 gp to enter

Say that to my main.

Whats ya prayer lvl cuz i wanna burry a bone in yo ass

Yo momma is like a smithing anvil, its only good for pounding.

Yo momma is like a bank booth; everybody uses the 'use-quickly' option

Yo momma's like the General Store, open 24/7.

these made me laugh lmao, thank you for making my day already.
but not proper enough to reach the client, thanks for the giggle tough hahaha

anyways i would say :

typ ::help if you need any assistance from a moderator.
find the price of an item by typing ::prices.

[Monib33]

In-game username: Elite Spirit

Oneliners: I saw someone killing red spiders a few years ago and reported him for bug abuse.

Your momma so fat A D-hally spec hits her three times ( )

Your mom is like Al Kharid, she only charges 10gp to enter her.

What do you call someone with 99 fishing? A Master Baiter

How do you know you've been playing PkHonor too much? When someone dies IRL and you ask what they dropped.

This was made me laugh a lot

[1zabek7]

In-game username: 1zabek7
Oneliners:
1. It's so meta even this acronym.
2. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
3. I hate Russian dolls, their so full of themselves.
4. As long as finals exist, so must school prayer.
5. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it. (Bob Hope)
6. Lotteries: A tax on the mathematically disinclined.
7. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. (Greg King)
8. Whats the worst place to argue over bluetooth? Your mother's grave.
9. Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. (Mark Twain)
10. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. (Oscar Wilde)
11. Life is like a sewer, what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. (Tom Lehrer)
12. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. (Robert Bloch)
13. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
14. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. (Miles Kington)
15. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. (Socrates)
16. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. (Franklin Jones)
17. If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research. (Wilson Mizner)
18. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. (Dave Barry)
19. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. (Flip Wilson)
20. First rule of pyromancy: Only you can start forest fires!
21. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. (Jack Nicholson)
22. God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. (Ethel Mumford)
23. We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. (Robert Wilensky)
24. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. (Norm Crosby)
25. Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. (Isaac Asimov)
26. America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
27. The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. (Franklin P. Jones)
28. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. (Ronald Reagan)
29. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. (Jose Maria De Eca De Queiroz)
30. There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting. (Mark Twain)
31. Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not yet completely sure about the universe. (Albert Einstein)
32. There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
33. MMOs: If you can't solve a problem by hitting it you must not be hitting hard enough.
34. PKHonor: Where earning more gold than the universe can handle in a single day is a reasonable goal.
35. Why don't MMOs have a flaming skill? All the players already have level 99.
36. When all you have is a whip everything looks like a masochist.
37. When all you have a is a bow everything looks like a pincushion.
38. When all you have is death everything looks like a pushover.
39. How do you tell if an ambulance is occupied? Look for lawyers.
40. Whats the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a bottom feeder and one's a fish.

Non-Joke
1. In PKHonor inflation is caused by the supply of gp entering the economy through alchemy, the junk shop, and rewards, exceeding the amount leaving through the G.E. tax, the ticket tax, and various other types of tax.
2. It is often important to utilize money making guides soon after they are made; money making guides have a tendency to cause a glut of whatever product is produced. (This is why you can't sell super prayer potions for 250k anymore)
3. Frost dragons are a great source of income and are incredibly easy to fight but the frequent banking runs can be tedious. You may prefer barrelchests for the less frequent, but more valuable, drops.
4. Mithril dragons aren't just for noobs, they can drop elite clue scrolls which lead to caskets worth 1b+. If you wish for a riskier way to farm scrolls you may wish to fight them in the wilderness, where the scrolls have an increased drop rate.
5. Skills should be trained in set for maximum efficiency: farming and herblore, fishing and cooking, mining and smithing, woodcutting and fire making, are all good combinations of skills.
6. Good new and bad news. The bad news is rabbits can insta-kill you. The good news is you won't lose your inventory.
7. ::empty will drop your entire inventory, a useful way to save time while grinding gathering skills.
8. If Barrack and Edgeville have an annoying amount of chatting you can use ::chill to go to a (mostly) deserted area.
9. While the morph realm saps the combat stats of ordinary players it can still be used to harvest crowded resources such as dragon imps.
10. While ancient curses are powerful they require a high prayer level, making them significantly less usefull.
11. Premium gives ancient curses for no cost if they are not let unlocked; if you are thinking about unlocking them you may wish to put the gp towards premium instead.
12. When using the G.E. avoid buying (or selling) based off of currently available offers, waiting a day or two can often get you a much better price.
13. The pest invasion quest allows you access to crash island, a great source of free teletabs.
14. Never solo a boss without a teletab, if something goes wrong you will need to escape quickly.
15. A cannon can boost your damage output against enemies in areas with multi-combat, increasing your likelihood of out damaging the competition when fighting enemies such as the barrelchests.

Quotes are okay right?

[Jade]

IGN: Jade
OL's: -bless it. -i like your belt buckle, it would look better on my forehead.

[Ali]

IGN: Jade
OL's: -bless it. -i like your belt buckle, it would look better on my forehead.

Nice4headm8

[Rapsey]

I think all of these jokes will become lame after you've seen them once (if they aren't already). Maybe hints are the way to go. Or the kind of things you expect to find in fortune cookies.

[Ruler]

IGN: Ruler

Use the ::pure command to level up three of the five combat skills (att, str, def, range, mage) instantly to 99.

I've had alot of people who didn't know this before I told them.

Two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will always smell funny.

You will read this and say “Geez! I could come up with better fortunes than that!”

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

A friend asks only for your time not your gps.

A stranger, is a friend you have not spoken to yet.

There are some good ones here:
http://forums.pkhonor.net/viewtopic.php ... vie+quotes
Like

Spoiler: show

"Get busy living, or get busy dying."

"Our greatest achievements cannot be behind us because our destiny lies above us."

"Either die a hero, or live long enough to be a villian."

This one can be applied on pkh

"Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of that do the things no one can imagine."

"great men are not born great, they grow great."

"mama always said life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get."

Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate...leads to suffering.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."