Hostile Takeover
Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2025 5:37 pm
I am pleased to announce that myself and @Iron adam are conducting a hostile takeover of Pkhonor ownership from Mike and Rapsey. This takeover will be physical, in their own backyard in the Grote Markt, Brussels. Through an unprecedented partnership with the Belgian Government, we will shut down the entire city for a day so everyone can witness this absolute circus of a fight.
The event has already been listed as “Belgium’s Most Important Cultural Moment Since 1830” by several confused historians. A temporary arena will be constructed directly on top of the waffle stands, complete with pyrotechnics, fog machines, and a live set from a DJ who only plays RuneScape login screen remixes.
Mike and Rapsey have reportedly been training by doing push-ups in Falador Park, while @Iron adam and I have been preparing by practicing our special move, The Dual-Wielding Spreadsheet Slam, in which we hit them with their own monthly revenue reports.
Local authorities will provide free fries to all spectators, and a commemorative “I Survived the Pkhonor Coup” ribbon will be awarded to anyone who doesn’t get hit by flying debris or poorly aimed spec attacks.
Once the dust settles, the loser must relinquish ownership of Pkhonor and agree to be permanently banned from AFK woodcutting in Draynor. The stakes have never been higher.
See you all in Brussels. Bring your prayer potions.
This post was brought to you by ChatGPT and Huel.
The event has already been listed as “Belgium’s Most Important Cultural Moment Since 1830” by several confused historians. A temporary arena will be constructed directly on top of the waffle stands, complete with pyrotechnics, fog machines, and a live set from a DJ who only plays RuneScape login screen remixes.
Mike and Rapsey have reportedly been training by doing push-ups in Falador Park, while @Iron adam and I have been preparing by practicing our special move, The Dual-Wielding Spreadsheet Slam, in which we hit them with their own monthly revenue reports.
Local authorities will provide free fries to all spectators, and a commemorative “I Survived the Pkhonor Coup” ribbon will be awarded to anyone who doesn’t get hit by flying debris or poorly aimed spec attacks.
Once the dust settles, the loser must relinquish ownership of Pkhonor and agree to be permanently banned from AFK woodcutting in Draynor. The stakes have never been higher.
See you all in Brussels. Bring your prayer potions.
This post was brought to you by ChatGPT and Huel.